What being a mom of four boys has taught me.
Pampers triple in size in the washing machine before exploding.
"Sick days" are spent trying to convince boys that it is not, in fact, code for "Lego day".
Newborns become 2nd graders.
A boy can be the picture of health at 8 am and be in the ER by noon.
The laundry will never be caught up. Or put away.
Cleaning is pointless. The leave a trail of destruction. And dirt.
If you call it a cookie, they will eat it.
All boys bond over Legos.
There is no getting rid of the smell of boys. Especially in the bathroom.
Superheros require extra sleep.
Boys start making car sound effects before they can talk. Or walk. Or crawl.
Hard soled slippers protect against Legos.
There is no keeping holes out of their jeans.
Boys who only eat mac & cheese will still grow.
Boys can do chores too. Just peak under the four year old's bed when all the clean laundry goes MIA.
Animals sense trouble from boys. Sudden erratic animal behavior could indicate an overflowing toilet flooding an entire hallway from experiments in how much toilet paper will fit in it. Two rolls=too much.
It is essential to train friendly boys to not answer the front door when mommy is showering.
Boys like to dress up too. Especially in mommy's stilettos.
Noise is not a concern. Lack of noise is.
Lack of noise could indicate bunk bed diving, eating a pile of muffins while hiding under a blanket, or experimentation in artistic expression. On the wall.
If someone exclaims "MOMMY COME QUICK!!!" and it involves a toddler and the bathroom- drop everything and run.
If you hear "hey watch this!" Sprint. This is an indication of extreme danger among boys.
There is no such thing as too many band aids.
Or too much pizza.
But the absolute best thing about being outnumbered beyond belief, in a house overflowing with testosterone, hearing "I love you mommy, you're the best mommy I ever had". Boys love their moms.
"Sick days" are spent trying to convince boys that it is not, in fact, code for "Lego day".
Newborns become 2nd graders.
A boy can be the picture of health at 8 am and be in the ER by noon.
The laundry will never be caught up. Or put away.
Cleaning is pointless. The leave a trail of destruction. And dirt.
If you call it a cookie, they will eat it.
All boys bond over Legos.
There is no getting rid of the smell of boys. Especially in the bathroom.
Superheros require extra sleep.
Boys start making car sound effects before they can talk. Or walk. Or crawl.
Hard soled slippers protect against Legos.
There is no keeping holes out of their jeans.
Boys who only eat mac & cheese will still grow.
Boys can do chores too. Just peak under the four year old's bed when all the clean laundry goes MIA.
Animals sense trouble from boys. Sudden erratic animal behavior could indicate an overflowing toilet flooding an entire hallway from experiments in how much toilet paper will fit in it. Two rolls=too much.
It is essential to train friendly boys to not answer the front door when mommy is showering.
Boys like to dress up too. Especially in mommy's stilettos.
Noise is not a concern. Lack of noise is.
Lack of noise could indicate bunk bed diving, eating a pile of muffins while hiding under a blanket, or experimentation in artistic expression. On the wall.
If someone exclaims "MOMMY COME QUICK!!!" and it involves a toddler and the bathroom- drop everything and run.
If you hear "hey watch this!" Sprint. This is an indication of extreme danger among boys.
There is no such thing as too many band aids.
Or too much pizza.
But the absolute best thing about being outnumbered beyond belief, in a house overflowing with testosterone, hearing "I love you mommy, you're the best mommy I ever had". Boys love their moms.
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