Why I'm not Supermom.
I've noticed something ever since I've been homeschooling my sons.
Every time I am talking to another mom, one that doesn't homeschool, she automatically feels the need to defend the reason why she isn't homeschooling her kids.
Why?
Why are we so defensive about the choices that we make for our children? Why do one mother's choices cause another to question her own?
I wish it wasn't like that. I hate being the cause of anyone questioning the choices they make. Partly because when it comes to homeschooling, I question whether it is the right thing for our family.
When I started homeschooling Avery, Payton, and Rylan it was for many reasons. One of the reasons was that they wanted to be homeschooled. We talked at lengths about what it would mean for them and how their lives would change. They welcomed that change. However, months later I have watched my sons, and they aren't happy.
I'm sure there are supermoms out there who are able to juggle all the things, but it turns out that I'm not one of them.
I can't seem to manage to juggle it all. I spend my weekdays in a schedule of their studies and lessons, while trying to simultaneously care for two toddlers, a house that is still being renovated (4 months later) and still isn't unpacked because of this, cleaning, cooking, laundry, errands, and grocery shopping. My husband is now a commuter and is gone 12+ hours out of the day, I no longer have his help. I dropped out of my classes because I didn't have enough help and couldn't keep up with my own school. I just can't do it all.
We are just barely able to keep up with the academic side of things day to day, but my kids need more. And there aren't enough hours in the day for me to provide that. They need friends. They are all very social and being at home is stifling that. I wish I had time for swimming lessons, piano lessons, basketball, soccer, and every activity they would love to go to. But I don't. I wish I had time to connect with other homeschool families. But I don't. I keep trying to make it better, each week I add a little bit more, but it's not enough. I barely manage to get them through the academic side of things, if I lose any of the time out of our school schedule we won't keep up with that either. They have tested well in everything and I do not doubt my abilities to teach them, but that isn't all there is to life. I want them to enjoy being children, they are only young for so long.
Time constraints aside, the months I have spent homeschooling have caused a strain on my relationship with my oldest son. He has struggled with mom being teacher and his behavior has been less than ideal. I ask myself daily why I'm torturing both of us. When he used to go to school he was happy, he thrived, and our relationship was not like this.
Yesterday they all three voiced that they wanted to go back to school. I am trying to not look at this as defeat, or failure. This is what they want and after watching them closely, I think the best thing I can do is send them back.
So there it is. Not supermom. Just a mom trying to do right by her sons and love them and guide them as they grow.
Every time I am talking to another mom, one that doesn't homeschool, she automatically feels the need to defend the reason why she isn't homeschooling her kids.
Why?
Why are we so defensive about the choices that we make for our children? Why do one mother's choices cause another to question her own?
I wish it wasn't like that. I hate being the cause of anyone questioning the choices they make. Partly because when it comes to homeschooling, I question whether it is the right thing for our family.
When I started homeschooling Avery, Payton, and Rylan it was for many reasons. One of the reasons was that they wanted to be homeschooled. We talked at lengths about what it would mean for them and how their lives would change. They welcomed that change. However, months later I have watched my sons, and they aren't happy.
I'm sure there are supermoms out there who are able to juggle all the things, but it turns out that I'm not one of them.
I can't seem to manage to juggle it all. I spend my weekdays in a schedule of their studies and lessons, while trying to simultaneously care for two toddlers, a house that is still being renovated (4 months later) and still isn't unpacked because of this, cleaning, cooking, laundry, errands, and grocery shopping. My husband is now a commuter and is gone 12+ hours out of the day, I no longer have his help. I dropped out of my classes because I didn't have enough help and couldn't keep up with my own school. I just can't do it all.
We are just barely able to keep up with the academic side of things day to day, but my kids need more. And there aren't enough hours in the day for me to provide that. They need friends. They are all very social and being at home is stifling that. I wish I had time for swimming lessons, piano lessons, basketball, soccer, and every activity they would love to go to. But I don't. I wish I had time to connect with other homeschool families. But I don't. I keep trying to make it better, each week I add a little bit more, but it's not enough. I barely manage to get them through the academic side of things, if I lose any of the time out of our school schedule we won't keep up with that either. They have tested well in everything and I do not doubt my abilities to teach them, but that isn't all there is to life. I want them to enjoy being children, they are only young for so long.
Time constraints aside, the months I have spent homeschooling have caused a strain on my relationship with my oldest son. He has struggled with mom being teacher and his behavior has been less than ideal. I ask myself daily why I'm torturing both of us. When he used to go to school he was happy, he thrived, and our relationship was not like this.
Yesterday they all three voiced that they wanted to go back to school. I am trying to not look at this as defeat, or failure. This is what they want and after watching them closely, I think the best thing I can do is send them back.
So there it is. Not supermom. Just a mom trying to do right by her sons and love them and guide them as they grow.
Comments
Hugs to you mama!!! You know what is best!!